Perimenopause Support: You Shouldn’t Have to Navigate It Alone

Perimenopause Support Group

(Plus A Self-Assessment)

By: Edwige Theokas, LPC | Planting Seeds Counseling NJ

Somewhere in your 40s, something shifts, and you don’t quite know what to make of it.

Maybe it's the increased impatience before your period (a flash of anger so sudden and so disproportionate that it almost feels uncontrollable).

Maybe it's anxiety that used to be manageable and now shows up at 3 PM for no reason at all when you’re going to pick up your kids, or in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday, out of nowhere.

Maybe it’s the unexplained fear around your inability to deal with just everyday stressors. You seem to collapse when something wrong or inconvenient happens.

Maybe it's quieter than that: a sense that you don't quite recognize yourself anymore.

You look at your life, the one you built, the one you're supposed to be grateful for, and want to burn it all to the ground and run away to a cabin in the mountains.

If any of that is landing, I want you to know that you are not overreacting.

I know this because I have experienced all of this myself.

This is perimenopause, and it is real, physiological, and common, even though almost nobody prepares you for it.

But you don't have to figure it out by yourself.

Why Perimenopause Makes You Feel So Alone

Perimenopause doesn't come with a clear starting line.

There's no single day you wake up and know.

Instead, it shows up as a slow accumulation of things that don't quite add up: a shorter fuse, a harder time sleeping, food aversions to once beloved comfort foods, a wave of anxiety that seems to come from nowhere.

Because it's gradual and inconsistent.

It's easy to wonder if you're imagining it, or making too much of it, or simply "not handling things well."

And then there's the isolation.

Friends who have gone through it tell you that they just thought it was part of getting older, or remind you that they started on Zoloft and consumed Tums and antacids like they were candy during that time.

Friends who haven't hit this stage yet don't fully get it.

Partners and spouses love you but can't really relate to what your body and brain are doing. But they are also losing compassion for your outbursts and "meanness"

Bosses are sympathetic and encourage you to take a day off, but still expect you to meet the deadline.

Doctors sometimes brush it off as "just stress" or "just getting older."

So women quietly carry perimenopause rage, perimenopause anxiety, and the slow erosion of their own sense of self - alone, and often ashamed of needing support for something that feels like it should be manageable on its own.

It doesn't have to be that way.

This is exactly the kind of experience that gets lighter the moment you're in a room with other women who are living it too.

What a Perimenopause Support Group Offers

For most of my career, I facilitated groups for people with clinical diagnoses, like PTSD, trauma, and anxiety.

Groups were often complementary to one-on-one therapy.

But as I expanded my own experience in support groups (i.e., new moms, breastfeeding, families impacted by cancer), I realized how powerful it was to be in spaces where you feel that you’re not alone.

And as I continue to navigate my own journey in perimenopause, I realized that there are not any real spaces for women to be supported during this phase.

As we have come to understand, research and energy are often given to women around childrearing (i.e., pregnancy, birth, postpartum, etc.), but very little attention is given to women in later life.

And I think about the women before me, who navigated perimenopause and menopause in silence and in suffering.  

Perimenopause can feel deeply shameful when you're carrying it alone (like something is wrong with you.

You are expected to handle those symptoms, silently and without inconveniencing others (workplace, family, society).

But if said out loud in a room of women nodding along, your experience can become something else entirely: comforting, human, and much less frightening.

And perimenopause can become an invitation to better understand yourself, get into alignment, and figure out the next chapter of your life in a supported way.

So this is my effort to create a small corner of the world where a woman can learn about perimenopause, be heard and validated, and walk away with some tools to navigate the journey.

A few things a small group offers that are hard to get anywhere else:

- You stop feeling like the only one. Whatever you thought was uniquely shameful or embarrassing about your rage, your anxiety, or your sense of unraveling, someone else in the room has felt it too.

- You get real tools from real women. What actually helps someone else get through a 3 AM anxiety spike, or hold a boundary with a mother-in-law, or reclaim ten minutes for themselves — this gets shared in a way no article can replicate.

- You rebuild connection during a season that tends to shrink it. Making connections later in life can often be challenging. And perimenopause has a way of quietly isolating you. A weekly group, on purpose, works against that.

- You get permission. Permission to be a little messier than usual, to not have it figured out yet, and to need support for something real, without having to justify how "bad" it is first.

Coming this Fall, I'm running a small, six-week support group for women navigating perimenopause, midlife, and everything that comes with it: the rage, the anxiety, the exhaustion, the quiet identity questions nobody warned you about.

It's a support group, led by me, a licensed therapist (and perimenopausal mom), so real life experience AND clinical understanding shape how I hold the space.

This isn't a treatment process, there's no diagnosis involved, and it isn't a substitute for individual therapy if that's what you actually need.

Many women benefit from both, at different points.

The details:

- A virtual group, meeting every week at lunchtime.

- 6 weekly sessions, 60 minutes each, starting this September

- A small group, just 5 to 6 women, so there's real room to be seen and known

- Led by me, a licensed therapist who works closely with women in midlife and perimenopause

- Currently open to women living in New Jersey

- Investment: $600 for all six weeks, with payment plan options available

- A short conversation beforehand, just so we can talk about what you need and make sure it's a good fit

[Learn more about the Perimenopause Support Group →](https://www.plantingseedscounselingnj.com/support-groups) 

Would a Perimenopause Support Group Help You? A Self-Assessment

You already know you're in perimenopause, you don't need this to tell you that.

What this can help with is something different: whether a small support group is actually the right kind of support for you right now, versus individual therapy, versus something else entirely.

Rate each statement “0” (not true for me), “1” (somewhat true), or “2” (very true), then add up your score.

| Statement | Your Score |

1. I feel isolated in this experience - like the people closest to me don't fully get what I'm going through | ___ |

2. I'm craving connection with other women in this exact stage of life, not just sympathy from people who aren't | ___ |

3. I'd rather work through what I'm feeling alongside other women than sort it out entirely on my own | ___ |

4.    I want practical tools and honest, shared experience — not necessarily deep individual processing right now | ___ |

5. I'm managing, not in crisis, but I'm tired of white-knuckling through this alone | ___ |

6. I'm comfortable sharing in a small group, even if it feels a little vulnerable at first | ___ |

7. I've thought about individual therapy, but a group feels like the better starting point for what I need right now | ___ |

8. I want a standing, weekly appointment with my own wellbeing during this season | ___ |

9. I can realistically commit to six weekly 60-minute sessions this fall | ___ | 

What your score might mean:

- 0–6: A group may not be the strongest fit right now.

This can mean you need more individualized attention than a group format allows, or that something more urgent is going on that deserves one-on-one care first. A conversation about individual therapy is probably the better next step.

- 7–13: A support group sounds like a genuinely good fit. You're looking for connection, practical support, and consistency, without necessarily needing (or wanting) an individualized treatment process right now. This is exactly who this group was built for.

- 14–18: This is a clear, strong fit.

You're describing exactly the kind of support this group offers: community, consistency, and real tools, shared with other women who are living this same chapter.

This isn't a diagnosis, and it isn't measuring whether perimenopause is "real" for you.

You already know that.

It's just a way to notice whether group support, specifically, is the right next step.

You Don't Have to Do Perimenopause Alone

Perimenopause is a wobbly and uncertain time. There’s a seeming mid-life crisis going on – anger that feels uncontrollable, anxiety that shows up uninvited, and the quiet feeling of losing yourself, among other things (like itchy ears).

These are heavier to carry in isolation than most women realize until they're no longer carrying them that way.If any part of the self-assessment above felt like it was describing you, I'd love for you to consider joining us this Fall. Book a Call and let's talk about it

No pressure, just a conversation about what you're going through and what kind of support might actually help.

My name is Edwige (Eddie) Theokas, LPC. I'm a therapist in Bordentown, NJ, and I'm navigating perimenopause myself, right alongside the women I work with.

I provide individual therapy and small group support for women throughout New Jersey, with a focus on Mercer and Burlington County (Bordentown, Chesterfield, Robbinsville, Hamilton, and Princeton). Book a call if you'd like to talk about what's right for you. 

Frequently Asked Questions About the Perimenopause Support Group

How do I know if what I'm feeling is actually perimenopause?

Perimenopause can show up as changes to your cycle, sleep, mood, anxiety, and sense of self, often years before periods stop altogether.

If several items in the self-assessment above resonated, it's worth exploring further with your doctor and, if the emotional side feels heavy, with a therapist who understands this transition.

Is this the same as therapy?

No. The Perimenopause Support Group is a support group, not individual psychotherapy, and there's no diagnosis or treatment plan involved.

It's led by a licensed therapist, so clinical understanding shapes how the group runs, but it's meant to feel like guided community, not a treatment process.

Do I need to already be in therapy to join?

No. Some women in the group are in therapy elsewhere, some aren't.

Either way, a short conversation happens first to make sure the group is a good fit for you.

Do I have to live in New Jersey?

Yes, for now this group is open to New Jersey residents.

What if I'm not sure whether I need a group or individual therapy?

That's exactly what the initial conversation is for. We'll talk through what you're navigating together and figure out what actually makes sense - group, individual therapy, or both.

What happens after the six weeks are over?

The group ends with an individual conversation about what feels right next. For some women that's enough on its own; for others, it's a bridge into individual therapy.