By Edwige Theokas, LPC, NCC, ACS
Poly what? Understanding Polyvagal Theory In Trauma Therapy
Have you ever wondered why your body reacts to stress in ways that feel out of your control? Why do some people shut down when overwhelmed while others become hyper-alert and hyper-aroused?
Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, provides an explanation of how our nervous system responds to safety and danger—and how we can use this understanding to heal from trauma.
Understanding Polyvagal Theory can be life-changing. It can help explain why you might feel stuck in fight-or-flight mode, numb, or disconnected. More importantly, it offers ways to regulate your nervous system, creating a foundation for deeper healing.
In this blog, I’ll share why trauma therapists incorporate Polyvagal Theory in therapy. And I’ll share practical tools you can use in your daily life to build resilience and regulate your nervous system. And below, you can take a quiz to assess whether you have a dysregulated nervous system. You can also download this worksheet to track your emotions.
What Is Polyvagal Theory?
At its core, Polyvagal Theory explains how our nervous system detects safety and danger, shaping our responses to the world. For those who have experienced trauma, it’s important to understand that during a traumatic event, your nervous system is activated to handle a perceived threat to its’ safety. This may include fight, flight, freeze or collapse patterns.
The Three States of the Nervous System
Polyvagal Theory explains that our autonomic nervous system operates in three key states:
1. The Ventral Vagal State (Social Engagement – “Safe and Connected”)
• When we feel safe, our ventral vagal system is active.
• We can connect with others, think clearly, and experience joy.
Signs: Calmness, curiosity, openness, and a sense of belonging.
2. The Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight – “Alert and Activated”)
• When we sense a threat, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in.
• Our body prepares to fight or run.
Signs: Increased heart rate, anxiety, restlessness, or irritation.
3. The Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown – “Numb and Disconnected”)
• If the threat feels overwhelming, our nervous system may shut down.
• We feel frozen, hopeless, or detached.
Signs: Fatigue, dissociation, depression, and difficulty engaging.
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How Trauma Therapists Use Polyvagal Theory in Trauma Therapy
A trauma-informed therapist helps clients move toward ventral vagal regulation—a state where they feel safe, connected, and emotionally balanced.
1. Helping Clients Recognize Their Nervous System States
One of the first steps in healing is awareness. Trauma therapists teach clients how to identify when they are in fight, flight, freeze, or connection mode.
How I use this concept in therapy: Within sessions, I will often ask a client to identify and describe how their body feels when they are anxious, calm, or shut down. This help clients track their emotional states with curiosity instead of with judgment. Fostering self-awareness and connection to your feelings is crucial to helping you learn how to manage it.
2. Co-Regulation: Healing Through Safe Connection
Before clients can self-regulate, they often need co-regulation, which means feeling safe with another person. As a trauma therapist the goal is primarily to provide a secure, compassionate presence. This helps clients feel seen, heard, and validated.
How I apply this concept in therapy: Within sessions, I often use a calm voice, steady eye contact, and open body language to signal safety. I also incorporate grounding techniques (like deep breathing) during emotionally difficult experiences of memories.
3. Teaching Clients How to Regulate Their Nervous System
Healing trauma involves learning to shift out of survival states and into a state of safety and connection. Therapists guide clients through somatic (body-based) exercises that support nervous system regulation.
How I apply this concept in therapy:
Some common techniques I model and teach includes:
Breathwork – Slow, deep breathing helps shift from fight-or-flight into a calm state.
Movement – Gentle stretching, walking, or shaking out tension releases trapped energy.
Humming or Singing – Engages the vagus nerve, signaling safety to the brain.
Touch – Placing a hand on the heart or hugging oneself provides a sense of comfort.
Grounding Exercises – Focusing on the present moment through sensory experiences (touching an object, feeling the floor under your feet).
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How You Can Apply Polyvagal Theory in Your Own Life
Even outside of therapy, you can support your nervous system with simple daily practices. Here are some techniques to help you regulate stress and cultivate a greater sense of safety and connection.
1. Create a “Safe and Connected” Morning Routine
How you start your day impacts your nervous system. Instead of immediately checking emails or social media, try:
• Stretching or deep breathing to gently wake up.
• Listening to calming music or a guided meditation.
• Drinking a warm beverage slowly, focusing on its taste and warmth.
2. Use Your Breath to Shift Your State
Breathwork is one of the fastest ways to regulate your nervous system.
Try this:
• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
• Hold for 4 seconds.
• Exhale slowly for 8 seconds.
• Repeat several times.
Longer exhales activate the parasympathetic (calm) response, helping you move from anxiety to ease.
3. Engage in Social Connection
Since ventral vagal regulation is connected to social engagement, prioritizing healthy relationships can improve your well-being.
• Call a friend and talk about something uplifting.
• Make eye contact and smile at a stranger.
• Hug a loved one (physical touch activates the vagus nerve).
Even small moments of genuine connection can bring your nervous system into a regulated state.
4. Practice Gentle Movement
If you feel stuck in fight-or-flight mode, movement helps release excess energy.
• Take a walk outside.
• Do a few minutes of yoga or stretching.
• Dance to your favorite song!
If you’re in a shutdown state, start with slow, gentle movements like rocking, swaying, or self-massage to reawaken your body.
5. Create a “Safe Space” at Home
Your environment affects your nervous system. Design a comforting space with:
• Soft blankets or pillows.
• Dim, warm lighting.
• Essential oils (lavender and chamomile are calming).
• Soothing music or nature sounds.
A dedicated calm space can be your go-to when you need to regulate your nervous system.
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Conclusion
Trauma recovery is not about “just thinking positive” or “getting over it.” It’s about understanding how your body responds to stress and learning ways to regulate your nervous system so you feel safe, connected, and in control.
Polyvagal Theory provides a roadmap for healing, and trauma therapists use it to help clients move from survival to resilience. By incorporating small, daily practices, you can support your own nervous system and create a greater sense of safety, connection, and well-being.
Which of these techniques resonated with you the most? Let me know in the comments!
If you'd like to assess your own nervous system, take this quiz.
The following sources provide deeper insights into nervous system regulation and trauma healing:
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
• Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.
• Chalmers, J. A., Quintana, D. S., Abbott, M. J.-A., & Kemp, A. H. (2014). Anxiety Disorders are Associated with Reduced Heart Rate Variability: A Meta-Analysis. Frontiers in Psychiatry.
My name is Edwige (Eddie) Theokas and I am a trauma-based therapist in Bordentown, NJ. I specialize in EMDR to address trauma, anxiety, and stress. I provide in-person and online counseling throughout the state of NJ and specifically in Mercer and Burlington County, NJ (Bordentown, Chesterfield, Robbinsville, Hamilton and Princeton). I also provide EMDR Intensives. Contact me to schedule a consultation.
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